we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
