Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
