Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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