I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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