Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
