She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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