sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
