please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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