hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize