found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
