I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
