I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize