We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
