She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
