Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
