Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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