i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
