dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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