This girl is more easily done than said...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
