Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize