if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
