This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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