the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
