new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
