After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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