if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
