i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
