it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
