At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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