babies were throwing up all over the place
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
