Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
