non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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