Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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