Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
