:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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