He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
