he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
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bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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