My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
