I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
