new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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