i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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