i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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