I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
