I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
