Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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