you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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