i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
