Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
