Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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