did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize