Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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