what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
