drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize