okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
