Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
