i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
