How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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