dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
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You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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