plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
