Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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