i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
